Sitting Shiva sympathy gift the Jewish Tradition of Mourning
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Sitting Shiva: Understanding the Jewish Tradition of Mourning
Introduction
Sitting Shiva is a profound tradition in Jewish mourning, emphasizing community support and collective healing. This sacred practice begins with "the meal of consolation," prepared by family and neighbors. For those unable to visit in person, sending a thoughtful food gift basket, such as a Shiva or Sympathy Gift Basket, accompanied by a heartfelt card, is a meaningful way to show support.
Strength in Community
At the heart of Shiva is the gathering of family, friends, and neighbors, providing vital strength and support to those grieving. The mourning period, observed by the deceased’s closest family members, traditionally lasts seven days and begins immediately after the funeral. However, some families may choose to sit Shiva for fewer days, often announcing the duration at the funeral itself.
The Tradition of Sympathy Gift Baskets
Jewish customs discourage sending flowers. Instead, food baskets are customary. The Shiva begins with the seudat havra'ah, or "meal of consolation," and continues with the sharing of food from family and visitors. According to Jane Moritz, owner of The Challah Connection, the need for food extends beyond Shiva, making staggered gift deliveries perfectly acceptable.
Before sending a gift basket, it's important to confirm if the family keeps kosher. A simple, sincere message is typically best, such as "With our heartfelt sympathy," "You are in our thoughts," or the traditional, "May God comfort you among all mourners of Zion and Jerusalem."
Expressing Comfort and Support
Comforting those sitting Shiva can be challenging, but Jewish customs offer clear guidance. Simply being present and attentive, offering a handshake or hug, and letting mourners speak first can ease the discomfort. Sometimes, silence is the most powerful expression of empathy.
Shiva occurs during the most intense mourning days, allowing mourners to experience and express a range of emotions. It’s a fitting moment to share stories and cherished memories of the deceased, enriching the healing process.
An Act of Kindness
Offering practical help during this time is an immense kindness. Run errands, host out-of-town guests, cook meals, or help with daily chores. These small acts can significantly ease the burden on grieving families.
Shiva visits should be seen as acts of compassion, not obligations, and can be short to avoid tiring the family. Mourners may display signs of grief, such as tearing their clothing or sitting on low stools, indicating their sorrow. A 24-hour candle often burns in memory of the deceased.
In some homes, mourners may recite the Kaddish up to three times daily with a minyan, a group of ten Jewish adults. Assistance in forming a minyan is deeply appreciated by the family.
By understanding and respecting these traditions, we can offer genuine support and compassion to those in mourning during their time of need.
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