The Compulsive Giver
Below is a MRR and PLR article in category Society -> subcategory Relationships.
The Compulsive Giver
Summary
At first glance, a compulsive giver appears altruistic, empathetic, and caring. However, beneath this facade lies a people-pleaser and codependent person, driven by a narrative where they believe their loved ones need them due to perceived inadequacies. This behavior stems from pathological narcissism.
Exploring the Behavior
The compulsive giver often pressures or manipulates others into accepting their aid or generosity. These actions, perceived as grand gestures, stem from a deep-seated neediness and inflated self-image. They struggle to refuse any request, often projecting needs and desires onto others that align with their internal narrative.
Unrealistic Expectations
Over time, they develop unrealistic expectations, believing others should display unwavering gratitude and servility. Yet, when the anticipated reciprocity doesn't materialize, frustration and resentment build. To them, giving is a sacrifice, while receiving feels like exploitation, leaving them perpetually dissatisfied.
Psychological Insight
In psychological terms, the compulsive giver uses alloplastic defenses and an external locus of control. They depend on external validation to maintain their fluctuating self-worth and frequently blame the world for personal failures. This mindset prevents them from taking responsibility for their actions.
The Victim Complex
Compulsive givers often relish a self-perceived victimhood, meticulously tracking everything they give and receive. This unconscious behavior fuels grudge-holding, even as they deny such pettiness.
Manipulation and Control
Experts at projective identification, compulsive givers influence others to conform to their expectations, falsely claiming that giving is their sole reward. In truth, they crave reciprocity but reject gifts or help out of fear of losing their sacrificial status. This false modesty serves to affirm their belief that their loved ones are ungrateful.
The Cycle Continues
Over time, those around them acquiesce to the compulsive giver's overwhelming charity, feeling as though they are doing the giver a favor. The result? A cycle where everyone benefits superficially, yet the compulsive giver continues to see the world as unjust and people as self-centered, thus reaffirming their initial suspicions.
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