Relationships Giving to Get
Below is a MRR and PLR article in category Society -> subcategory Relationships.
Relationships: Giving vs. Receiving
Understanding Your Motivations in Love
Have you ever wondered whether you’re giving love purely for the joy it brings, or if you’re doing it to receive love in return? This is an important question for assessing the health of any relationship.
A Letter from Adam
I recently received an email from Adam, who finds himself in a dilemma. He’s considering moving out with his girlfriend Patty, but there’s something bothering him. Here’s what he had to say:
"Hi, I’m Adam. I still live with my parents, but I’m thinking about moving in with my girlfriend Patty. Lately, I’ve been feeling upset because Patty isn’t the person she used to be. Sometimes she seems distant and upset for about 4 or 5 days at a time. During these periods, she becomes withdrawn, and our intimacy dwindles. This frustrates me because I’ve worked hard to make her feel better during these times, but nothing seems to work.
I miss the spontaneous affection?"those random kisses throughout the day that made me feel so loved. Now, it feels like I initiate everything. I often wonder if she just sees me as a friend because I don’t feel loved or wanted. These feelings arise when she’s upset and sometimes even when she’s not. I really need some guidance.”
The Root of the Problem
Adam's situation highlights a common issue: giving to get. Adam wants Patty to validate his self-worth and make him feel valued. He feels secure only when Patty showers him with affection, yet he hasn’t learned to fulfill these needs on his own. This dependency on Patty for his happiness causes emotional strain in their relationship.
This pattern can push Patty away, making her feel responsible for Adam's well-being. When Adam seeks validation through sex or affection, it makes Patty feel used rather than loved, turning her off from the relationship.
The Path Forward for Adam
For the relationship to improve, Adam needs to shift his perspective. Instead of relying on Patty to fill his emotional gaps, he must learn to take responsibility for his own happiness. By focusing on himself, Adam can become a secure and confident partner, rather than someone who is dependent on Patty’s validation.
Adam should explore ways to nurture his self-love. By addressing his own needs and desires, he can share love genuinely with Patty, rather than trying to get it from her. Once Adam experiences the joy of giving love from a place of fulfillment, rather than out of neediness, the dynamic of their relationship can change.
A Common Misbelief
Adam’s struggle comes from a widespread misconception: that our greatest feelings come from being loved by others. In reality, the most fulfilling emotions arise from the love we give to ourselves and others. Adam can’t fully understand this until he shifts his intent from trying to control how much love he receives to being genuinely loving.
By learning to love himself, Adam will not only enhance his relationship with Patty but also strengthen his inner self, bringing greater joy and balance into his life.
You can find the original non-AI version of this article here: Relationships Giving to Get.
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