Making Marriage Work Part 1
Below is a MRR and PLR article in category Society -> subcategory Marriage.
Making Marriage Work: Part 1
Summary:
Is your marriage struggling? Has the passion faded? You might think everything would be fine if your partner changed. In this series, discover a transformative process to rejuvenate your marriage.
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Joan's first counseling session with me quickly turned emotional. "I'm married to the man of my dreams, but I'm miserable," she confessed, tears streaming down her face. "We were so in love, and now things are falling apart. Justin and I are constantly fighting and have grown distant. I love him and don't want to lose him, but I don't know what to do."
I asked, "What are you angry about?"
"Justin keeps pulling away," Joan replied. "He's working longer hours, and even when he's home on weekends, he's distant. He's either glued to the TV, playing computer games, or tinkering in his workshop. When I try to talk, he shuts down. We can't communicate anymore."
Joan and Justin's situation is common. Many couples find themselves stuck, wondering what happened to the love and passion they once shared.
Two major fears might be undermining your relationship:
1. Fear of Rejection: Losing someone's love due to anger, judgment, withdrawal, or loss.
2. Fear of Engulfment: Losing oneself through control, suffocation, or domination by another's demands.
Until these fears are healed, defensive reactions are inevitable. Joan's anger stems from her fear of rejection, while Justin withdraws due to his fear of engulfment. These reactions create an unsafe space where love and intimacy erode.
Many of us struggle to stay open when fears of rejection or control are triggered. Focusing on blame only worsens the problem. Blaming your partner for your fears or your unloving behavior makes the relationship feel unsafe.
Both partners end up feeling victimized and disconnected. You might believe your pain is caused solely by your partner's behavior, thinking that if they just understood, everything would change. This mindset exhausts you.
Over time, passion diminishes, replaced by superficiality, boredom, and conflict. The fears of losing the other person or losing yourself are the root causes of unloving behavior. These fears must be healed before you can truly share love with your partner.
The key is creating a safe internal space to confront and overcome these fears. In this series, I'll introduce a six-step process to help you find inner safety and strength, enabling you to foster a safe relationship space.
Joan learned to stop attacking Justin and to care for herself when her fears of rejection surfaced. She created internal safety instead of relying on Justin to protect her from her fears.
You can achieve this too. Any willing couple can create a safe relationship space where intimacy and passion can thrive. The upcoming articles in this series will guide you through this six-step healing journey.
You can find the original non-AI version of this article here: Making Marriage Work Part 1.
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