Fake Your Destiny with Great Success
Below is a MRR and PLR article in category Self Improvement -> subcategory Success.
How to Fake Your Destiny and Succeed (Sort of)
Word Count: 1345
Summary:
Tired of hearing that success requires hard work? Forget that! Let’s explore a tongue-in-cheek guide on how to lose your money and fake your destiny?"all with misplaced confidence.
Keywords: goal setting, success
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Article Body:
We’re constantly told that success comes from hard work and effort. Well, let’s take a step in a different direction. Here’s a satirical guide on losing all your money and pretending to shape your fate with impressive failure.
Step 1: Embrace Procrastination
Success? Sure, but only when every star is perfectly aligned, the Dodo bird reappears, or someone guarantees your triumph. Until then, avoid risks and decisions. Commitments? Only when Hell freezes over (or my mother's spicy Sancocho does, and my money’s on Hell).
Step 2: Follow the Wrong Advice
Why listen to successful people with their nauseating strategies? Instead, rely on advice from broke or unhappy friends. If you fail?"and you likely will?"they’ll be there to keep you company. Plus, blaming them for bad advice is a free pass.
Step 3: Wait for Miracles
Channel your inner optimist and wait for fate’s invisible hand to shower you with abundance. Pray for divine intervention and set deadlines for the universe. Just don’t lift a finger to help yourself; it might offend the cosmic order.
Step 4: Imitate Recklessly
Inspired by Desmond Morris’s The Human Ape, mimic everyone around you. Buy extravagant cars and luxurious homes. Who cares about money or debt? Credit card companies are rich enough without your contributions.
Step 5: Exploit Shamelessly
Forget empathy and the golden rule. Use people and opportunities for your gain without considering consequences. If it’s work-related, even better?"your colleagues deserve it for being so naive.
Step 6: Invent Your Reality
Why conform to reality when you can create your own? Ignore warnings about overspending and go on a shopping spree. Money is evil; saving it is pointless. Dismiss everyone who tells you otherwise?"their lack of a rosy outlook is their problem.
Step 7: Break Commitments Casually
Promises? They’re mere suggestions. Change plans without notifying anyone. Over-promise and under-deliver as you see fit. If others complain, accuse them of stifling your spontaneity.
Step 8: Blame the ‘-ISMs’
Miss out on opportunities? Blame an -ISM: RacISM, SexISM, AgeISM. It’s never your job to create wealth. Society owes you, and someone needs to compensate for your perceived disadvantages.
Bonus Step: Deny Responsibility
Regardless of performance?"good or bad?"it’s not your fault. Assign blame to others, even the deceased, as they can't argue back. When all else fails, blame the universe. Anyone who disagrees simply doesn’t understand your higher-level existence.
Follow these tongue-in-cheek steps, and you’re sure to lose your money and fake your destiny with unparalleled "success."
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Note: This article is purely satirical and not to be taken as legitimate advice for achieving success.
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