The Difference Between Approval and Appreciation
Below is a MRR and PLR article in category Self Improvement -> subcategory Coaching.
The Difference Between Approval and Appreciation
Introduction
After 35 years of working with individuals, couples, families, and business partners to resolve conflicts, I've noticed a common issue: confusion between approval and appreciation. Have you ever considered the difference?
Understanding Approval
Approval originates from a controlling, often insecure, part of ourselves. It's conditional, given only when someone meets our expectations. This type of feedback is manipulative, designed to encourage repeated behaviors that please us.
Embracing Appreciation
In contrast, appreciation comes from a genuine, loving part of us ?" what I call the "loving Adult." It arises spontaneously from feelings like delight, joy, or love. Appreciation focuses on a person's essence, who they truly are, rather than their actions. Unlike approval, appreciation carries no expectations and is a true gift.
Seeking Validation
Often, when people say they need appreciation, they are actually looking for approval due to a lack of self-esteem. Their inner need for recognition leads them to seek validation from others. When someone feels unappreciated, it's often because they aren't valuing themselves.
Self-Appreciation
When we appreciate ourselves, external appreciation becomes a delightful bonus rather than a necessity. If we're overly reliant on others to define our worth, it's a sign to look inward and nurture self-love.
Intentions Matter
The intention behind sharing about ourselves or offering feedback is crucial. Seeking approval or validation can feel burdensome to others. On the other hand, sharing with the genuine intent to connect or contribute feels like a gift. This dynamic is beautifully illustrated in the film "Good Will Hunting," where Robin Williams' character shares personal experiences to help his client, Will, open up, without expecting anything in return.
Challenge Yourself
We should regularly question our motivations when giving positive feedback: Is it a genuine gift, or are there hidden strings attached? Similarly, when sharing about ourselves, are we offering something meaningful or seeking affirmation? Constantly seeking from others can be exhausting and unsatisfying.
Conclusion
By giving appreciation and sharing from a sincere, loving place without expecting anything in return, we not only uplift others but also energize ourselves. Embrace the joy of giving and receiving appreciation freely.
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