Are You Addicted to Anger
Below is a MRR and PLR article in category Self Improvement -> subcategory Coaching.
Are You Addicted to Anger?
Exploring the Impact of Anger on Our Lives
Michael grew up in a household where anger was a tool for control. His parents often used anger to manipulate each other and their children, sometimes leading to violence. This constant threat left Michael and his siblings in fear and uncertainty.
As the eldest of four, Michael was tasked with caring for his siblings, often directing his fear and frustration towards them. Despite wanting to break the cycle, it was all he knew.
As an adult, Michael frequently struggles with anger towards his wife and children. Threatened with the potential loss of his family, he sought help from me.
"Michael, anger often masks deeper, more painful emotions. What might your anger be concealing?" I asked.
"I'm not sure. I just feel so frustrated, and then the anger comes out," Michael replied.
"Beyond fear, what did you feel as a child when your parents were angry and violent?"
"I felt alone."
"That loneliness, combined with helplessness, must have been overwhelming."
"Absolutely! I hated feeling alone and helpless. I couldn’t wait to grow up to escape it."
"What triggers that sense of helplessness now?" I inquired.
"It’s usually when my wife and kids don’t do what I want or expect."
"So, rather than confronting your helplessness, you try to control them with anger, like your parents did. Does that resonate?"
"It does. But why should I feel helpless? It's horrible."
"As a child, you were helpless against your parents' brutality and had limited control over your own situation. You couldn’t just leave or speak up without consequences. Now, while you remain helpless over others, you can control your own actions. You can choose to leave uncomfortable situations, express yourself, and navigate challenges with your family. Accepting your helplessness over others is essential; otherwise, you'll continue trying to control them through anger. Anger becomes a habitual, addictive response to avoid feeling helpless."
Accepting helplessness is difficult because it touches on a primal fear from infancy?"a time when helplessness was truly life-threatening. Many are willing to do anything to avoid feeling this way, even though we're no longer entirely helpless. Until we embrace our helplessness over others, control?"and consequently anger?"will dominate our interactions.
Michael gradually learned to care for himself, acknowledging and accepting his feelings instead of masking them with anger. As he nurtured his emotions and needs, he became more empathetic toward others. Accepting himself and managing his feelings reduced his need to control others.
Through our sessions, Michael found a connection to spiritual guidance, which eased his feelings of isolation and enabled him to take better care of himself. With this support, he managed feelings of loneliness and helplessness without resorting to anger, transforming his approach to relationships and emotions.
You can find the original non-AI version of this article here: Are You Addicted to Anger .
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