What is true listening
Below is a MRR and PLR article in category Reference Education -> subcategory Psychology.
What is True Listening?
Summary:
Discover the essentials of being a good listener. You might be surprised by how often you give closed responses.Introduction
True listening goes beyond offering advice or solutions. According to Dr. James Jones, it involves genuinely hearing what your teen has to say. Parents often respond with comments that are judgmental or dismissive, closing off communication and hindering dialogue.Closed vs. Open Responses
Closed responses tend to shut down conversations. These often dismiss or criticize the teen's feelings:Examples of Closed Responses:
- Teen: "I can't believe I got a C on my science project!"
- Parent: "I told you to type it, but you never listen."
- Parent: "Don't complain; you get what you deserve."
- Parent: "Teachers aren't unfair. What did you do wrong?"
These responses can make teens feel judged or unheard.
Examples of Open Responses:
Open responses foster communication by being nonjudgmental and accepting:
- Teen: "I can't believe Mr. Green gave me a C after all my work."
- Parent: "It sounds like you're really disappointed after putting in so much effort."
- Teen: "Mr. Green was unfair. He gave Don an A because he did the project Mr. Green suggested."
- Parent: "So you feel angry because it feels unfair?"
- Teen: "I learned a lot, even if I didn't get an A."
- Parent: "Despite the disappointing grade, it sounds like you're glad you tackled the challenging project."
These open responses show understanding and validate your teen’s feelings.
The Importance of Listening
When your teen asks you to listen, avoid jumping into advice or trying to solve their problems. They often seek an empathetic ear rather than solutions. Recognize your teen's capacity to handle situations themselves; they are not helpless. Support them by acknowledging their feelings rather than dismissing them.- Listen without Interrupting: Let your teen express themselves fully before responding.
- Avoid Offering Immediate Solutions: Understanding comes before advising.
- Acknowledge Their Feelings: Validating emotions can create clarity.
Conclusion
Listening is fundamental in understanding your teen. By fostering open communication, you help them navigate their feelings and challenges, ultimately leading them to find their solutions. So next time, just listen, and when your turn comes, they'll be there to listen to you.By embracing this approach, you contribute to their strength and independence, empowering them to grow and learn.
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