You Don t Trust Your Judgment
Below is a MRR and PLR article in category Master Series -> subcategory Dating-Relationships.
You Don't Trust Your Judgment
Summary
Experts in relationships discuss the importance of trusting your instincts while dating.---
Introduction
Evan:
Imagine if people were like computers?"solely relying on facts and logic, devoid of feelings and emotions. It might mean missing out on the nuances of human connection, but you'd never find yourself wondering during a dinner date, “What am I doing with this person?”
Like many, I've made regrettable choices in relationships, often realizing too late that my judgment was clouded. Have you ever asked friends what they truly thought of your ex, only to discover they all thought he was a jerk from day one? That's what friends are for?"to support you, sometimes unconditionally.
Why We Stay Despite Red Flags
So, why do we stay with people who others see as toxic? It’s those pesky human emotions again. Even a jerk can seem like a good partner 80% of the time. It’s easy to stick around for that 80%, but harder to objectively evaluate your own relationship compared to advising a friend.
Labels like "neglectful" or "selfish" can justify why someone should be dumped. But what happens when you’re with someone who seems great initially? Maybe he was generous and respectful, but things changed after he lost his job?"he became short-tempered and passive about finding work.
Trusting Your Judgment
Relationships are full of ups and downs, and it's natural to feel unsure about your judgment. Learning from mistakes is key, especially if you find yourself dating the same type of problematic person repeatedly. Recognize that you've been down this road before.
Though it’s natural to be cautious after past mistakes, remember that every relationship is a fresh start. If you're still unsure, trust your gut?"if something feels off, pay attention. Keep an open mind, but don’t expect your friends to be brutally honest until it’s over.
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Linda:
When I started working on our book, I encountered skepticism: why would anyone listen to someone single talk about relationships? Some married people believed that being single meant I knew nothing about making relationships work, which is a flawed perspective.
Embracing Experience and Instinct
This mindset suggests we should approach new relationships as if we know nothing. Yet, it's not ignorance that trips us up, but our refusal to acknowledge what we've learned. Recognizing these lessons, like seeing red flags when communication fades, is crucial.
Instead of assuming you know nothing, value your experiences and insights. While not all instincts are flawless, it’s vital to differentiate between impulse and intuition. Mistakes will happen, but learning to read situations better is key.
Navigating Relationship Challenges
Consider when to take things personally. If your partner’s busy work schedule affects their communication, it’s important to find a balance between understanding and addressing concerns. You’ll need to set boundaries to maintain a healthy perspective.
Learn to recognize signs?"both good and bad?"and trust your experiences. As a single person, you likely know more about relationships than you realize.
Conclusion
By reflecting on past experiences and trusting your instincts, you can navigate the complexities of relationships with greater confidence and insight.
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Copyright © 2006 Evan Marc Katz and Linda Holmes
Evan Marc Katz is the founder of E-Cyrano.com, an online dating consultancy. Featured on major networks, he’s based in Los Angeles.
Linda Holmes writes for Television Without Pity and contributes to MSNBC.com, residing in Minneapolis.
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