Stopping Bad Breath Bart
Below is a MRR and PLR article in category Health Fitness -> subcategory Other.
Stopping Bad Breath Bart
Overview
Discover some amusing and effective ways to tackle bad breath. Let's dive in!
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Article
"Pee-ew! You smell like a skunk marinated in sardine sauce for a week."
Alright, I admit I can be blunt sometimes, but hey, it's not like I was addressing Attila the Hun at a pep rally. It was just my pal Bart.
"Pee-ew! You've got bad breath."
So, when the phone rang that evening, I didn’t expect a chipper greeting from Bad Breath Bart. "Hey, Happy Guy. I'm feeling fantastic," he announced. "Want to guess why?"
"Did you win a ten-meter turkey toss?"
"Nope," he laughed. "But thanks for the suggestion. I'll train for that."
"Okay, I give up. Why so cheerful?"
"I found an easy way to stop bad breath," he exclaimed. "Want to guess how?"
"Did you buy a book on it and start following instructions?"
"Great idea," Bart said, "but my plan is even simpler. I covered it up."
"Bart, that won't work. People have been trying to mask bad breath forever, but mint alone isn't strong enough."
Editor's Note: Check out my thoughts on the mint conspiracy [here](http://www.thehappyguy.com/jelly-beans-or-toothpaste.html).
"Bingo!" he shouted. "Mint is too weak, so I found something stronger. Want to guess?"
"Have you been gargling with aged milk?"
"Nope."
"Drinking cologne?"
"Nope."
"Downed a bottle of vanilla extract thinking it was beer?"
"Nope."
This guessing game was exhausting. "Alright, Bart, what's your secret?"
"Garlic," he proclaimed.
"Garlic?"
"Yep. Now nobody smells my bad breath, just garlic," he beamed.
"Garlic?"
"Of course, there are side effects," Bart noted. "My pet vampire ran away, and my wife slammed the door after I blew her a kiss."
"Want a less pungent alternative, Bart? Something that won't get you a black eye when you blow kisses?"
"Sure."
"Try a mouthwash with cetylpyridinium chloride. It works for me."
"Wow, that's a mouthful," Bart exclaimed.
I was glad to have finally offered Bart a constructive solution. But the next evening brought an unexpected call.
"Hey, Happy Guy. Thanks for the tip," Bart said. "That cetilip... cettap... centapyr... that mouthwash is fantastic."
"Awesome!" I was thrilled it was working.
"Yeah. It tastes great, too," he added.
"Tastes great?"
"Yep, and filling."
A sense of dread crept in. "What do you mean by 'filling'?"
"After adding cetylp... cettep... cer-tip... that stuff, I'm not hungry anymore," he explained.
"Bart, what did you put in that concoction?"
"Oh, the usual: ten scoops of ice cream, a couple of cups of milk, chocolate chips, half a banana, corn flakes, a wombat's ear, and juice from the maraschino cherry jar," he replied.
"But that won’t stop your bad breath."
"Whoops, I also added cetylp… cetep… that ingredient," he added. "It sure tasted good."
Just then, my wife entered. "Honey, I made your favorite banana-strawberry milkshake," she said with a smile.
I looked at the glass. I examined it from every angle.
"What are you looking for?" she asked.
I knew she wouldn’t understand. "Chocolate chips and corn flakes."
You can find the original non-AI version of this article here: Stopping Bad Breath Bart.
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