Things That Go Bump in the Night
Below is a MRR and PLR article in category Arts Entertainment -> subcategory Humor.
Things That Go Bump in the Night
Summary
During our wedding vows, I somehow agreed to more than just love and cherish?"I also signed up for taking out the trash and becoming the nighttime protector against imaginary intruders.Article
Last night, my wife, Nancy, and I were settling into sleep when we were suddenly jolted by a loud thump followed by a drawn-out dragging noise somewhere in the house.
We both sat up in bed. Nancy whispered, "What was that?"
How should I know what's happening in the rest of the house? I'm not a mind reader; I'm scared. My childhood hero was, after all, the Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz. If I tell Nancy the truth, she'll expect me to check it out. Apparently, when I said, "I do," I also agreed to take out the trash and investigate night noises.
I decide not to alarm her. "It was just the wind," I assure her, trying to keep the fear out of my voice.
"Oh, okay," she replies, actually believing me. "Thank goodness you're here, or I'd be terrified." Then she rolls over and promptly falls back asleep. How does she do that? Does she really think I'd fend off any lurking danger with bravado?
As she drifts off, I'm left wide awake, waiting for some imaginary monster to bust through the bedroom door. Naturally, I suddenly need to go to the bathroom?"badly. But not badly enough to brave the unknown outside the covers.
It's not that I'm genuinely scared; I know these things only happen in movies. The Grim Reaper isn't skulking in my living room. The real reason I don't go investigate is because I know it was just the wind. I can wait until morning. Everything seems better in daylight, and anyway, Nancy always wakes up before I do.
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