Surgeon General Uncertain About What Hospital To Check His Grandmother Into
Below is a MRR and PLR article in category Arts Entertainment -> subcategory Humor.
Surgeon General Faces Dilemma: Which Hospital for Grandma?
Summary
Concerned by a report highlighting the alarming number of deaths in U.S. hospitals due to preventable human errors, the Surgeon General is unsure about which hospital to choose for his grandmother, who is experiencing shortness of breath.Taking a bold step, the Surgeon General has mandated that all hospitals must now display this cautionary message at their registration desks: "The Surgeon General has determined that hospitals may be hazardous to your health and could result in accidental death."
Article Body
After reading a troubling report about the high number of preventable fatalities in U.S. hospitals, the Surgeon General found himself uncertain about which hospital would be safest for his grandmother, who was experiencing shortness of breath.He decided it was time for decisive governmental action. Consequently, hospitals are now required to post a warning: "The Surgeon General has determined that hospitals may be hazardous to your health and could result in accidental death."
The American Civil Liberties Union is challenging this requirement, arguing that it violates hospitals' rights to operate with the expectation that some patients will recover while others may not fare as well.
An ACLU spokesperson commented, "This infringes on the right to free enterprise. Hospitals should have the freedom to promise exceptional healthcare, even if they're not entirely sure they can deliver. Forcing them to be candid about survival rates undermines their right to market themselves."
Chief Justice John Roberts humorously remarked, "I can't comment since I could need an appendectomy at any time and wouldn't want the hospital to doubt my support for its reputation if I survive."
In response, the FDA plans to deploy a task force of inspectors posing as patients. After a year, they'll assess how many "patients" are still alive to guide future policy decisions.
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