On the Road Again
Below is a MRR and PLR article in category Arts Entertainment -> subcategory Humor.
On the Road Again
A Middle-Aged Couple's Adventure in Mountain Biking
My wife and I realized we needed more exercise when even the vultures seemed to be waiting for us to keel over, and our washing machine was mysteriously shrinking our clothes. So, in a flash of questionable brilliance, we decided to take up mountain biking. Remembering the carefree breeze of childhood rides, we set out to buy bikes.
As soon as we started, we noticed a problem: the seats seemed to have shrunk since we were kids. The clerk, with a knowing smile, suggested foam padding for a more comfortable ride, though at an extra cost. My wife opted for the padding and now rides something resembling a bucket seat from a 1967 Buick. I skipped the padding to save money, though my proctologist assures me the tingling in my left side will eventually go away.
Early Saturday morning, armed for our biking debut, we set off before sunrise to ensure we return before dark. My wife leads with a fanny pack containing suntan lotion, a first aid kit, and our insurance cards, setting the pace. I follow, hauling a backpack with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, energy bars, Gatorade for hydration, rain gear for weather, a map and compass for navigation, a flashlight for night, and flares in case of emergency.
We review the route one last time at the kitchen table. “This is our path,” I announce sternly, “If there are any questions, speak now.”
I also go over emergency procedures. “If we get separated, meet at checkpoint Charlie or Romeo.”
“We’ve done this four times already,” my wife sighs, clearly underestimating the mission’s gravity and my expert training?"two years in the Cub Scouts, mind you. Fortunately, I’m prepared for anything.
Finally, it’s time to act on our meticulous training. To venture forward into the great unknown?"or at least beyond our driveway.
I brief our kids, “Stay by the phone in case we need help.”
“But you’re only going around the block,” they argue, pointing out that we’ll be in sight of the house the whole time.
Ah, the simplicity of youth. They just don’t get it.
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