Milk Goats - Know Thy Enemy
Below is a MRR and PLR article in category Arts Entertainment -> subcategory Humor.
Milk Goats: A Hilarious Journey in Milking
Introduction
Patience may be a virtue, but laughter is essential for survival when you're new to milking goats. As you embark on this journey, take hope from this journal?"there truly is light at the end of the tunnel.
Overview
Keywords: Goat, goats, milking, farm, backyard, dairy, country life
Adding milk goats to my backyard farm came with visions of fresh milk in the fridge and homemade cheese. However, my first goat, Spirit, had other plans. If there’s one lesson I’ve learned, it’s that goats have a mind of their own. Expecting nothing makes the experience more manageable, and perseverance will keep your sanity intact.
Spirit was a tough nut to crack, proving her stubbornness from day one. Even with ample milk, generosity wasn’t her style. But, just like falling off a bike, when faced with a goat kick, you must try again.
Here’s a comical look at my first month milking Spirit. Keep this in mind: there’s a brighter day ahead!
The Diary
Day 1: Tethered goat runs wild, kicking and bucking. Teat remains untouched.
Day 2: Attempt to assemble an "EZ One Hour Goat Milking Stand" from online plans. Defines five hours of frustration.
Day 3: Adjust the stand to fit Spirit’s wide head into the feed box.
Day 4: Further adjustments stop Spirit’s narrow head from escaping.
Day 5: Collect 3.5 teaspoons of milk from a flailing goat on the stand.
Day 6: More of the same.
Day 7: Tether goat’s leg. It kicks loose in a fraction of a second.
Day 8: Improve tethering. Goat still manages to spill the milk.
Day 9: Try new technique, successfully collecting an ounce before goat kicks loose, adding hair to the milk.
Day 10: Resort to buying milk from the store.
Days 11?"14: Discouraged, squirt milk onto the stand to keep the right teat functional.
Day 15: Collect three ounces before Spirit plunges her foot into it.
Days 16?"18: Repeat.
Day 19: Right teat diminishes.
Day 20: Right teat empties.
Day 21: Get served papers from Spirit’s “legal team” declaring her left teat off-limits.
Days 22?"23: Continue practice, coaxing drops from the right teat.
Day 24: Master milking, collecting 1.4 ounces while dodging Spirit’s attempts to kick the receptacle.
Days 25?"26: Milk yield improves slightly. Goat and cottonwood tree shed into the milk.
Day 27: Babies nibble my shirt during milking. Spirit’s foot finds its way to the milk again.
Day 28: Babies continue their antics. I attempt a daring milk theft from the left teat.
Day 29: Babies tug on my hair. Startled by my reaction, they dart off, hair-in-mouth.
Day 30: The saga continues.
Day 31: Daily yield reaches about 10 ounces from two milkings of 1.2 teats.
Conclusion
Remember, the day will come when you can quickly milk your nanny goat and enjoy fresh milk in your coffee. Until then, embrace the challenges with humor and patience. All this can truly be yours.
You can find the original non-AI version of this article here: Milk Goats - Know Thy Enemy.
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