Man Loses Memory Shows Up At Emergency Room
Below is a MRR and PLR article in category Arts Entertainment -> subcategory Humor.
Man Loses Memory; Rushes to Emergency Room
Summary:
"How did it happen?" the intern asked. "A traumatic event, a knock on the head?""No, nothing like that," replied the businessman, pulling out his PDA. "I depended on my electronic organizer for everything. My memory deteriorated over time. Today, it happened."
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A frantic businessman burst into the emergency room, dropping his attaché case on the reception desk. "Nurse, I need help!"
Startled awake by the noise, the nurse responded, "What?"
"This is an emergency!" he insisted.
"You’ll need to wait your turn," she informed him.
"What line?" he asked, looking around the empty room.
She conceded, "Oh," and then asked, "May I have your insurance card?"
"Sure," he replied, confused. "What’s that?"
"It's proof of health insurance," she explained.
"Proof, right," he muttered.
Suddenly, a doctor wheeled a patient across the room, jotting notes on a clipboard.
"Relax," the doctor advised. "It's only a heart attack."
"But I need help now, I could die!" the man protested.
"Don't be silly, I gave you aspirin. It boosts survival by 33.3%. I need to ask you some questions. You might need up to four heart vessel replacements."
"So?" the patient replied.
"Your insurance only covers two. Do you consent to the rest?"
"OK, OK!" the man agreed.
"Good," the doctor acknowledged. "Would you like anesthesia?"
"Of course," the patient said.
"Excellent. Your policy is vague on that. Now, should I sew you back up after the bypass?"
"What?!" the patient reacted.
"Your insurance only covers the incision," the doctor clarified.
The patient was wheeled away as the businessman turned back to the nurse. "Nurse! I can't wait all day. I have appointments!"
"Maybe come back later," she suggested.
"I would, but I can't remember my appointments," he lamented.
"Why not?" she asked.
"I lost my memory!" he nearly cried.
"Oh," she noted, handing him a form. "Fill this out first."
Looking it over, he despaired. "I'm in trouble."
"Is there a problem?" the nurse inquired.
"You want my name, address, phone number! How can I provide that when I’ve lost my memory?"
"Everyone has to fill it out. If you can't, a family member or friend must."
"But if I remembered them, I'd still have my memory," he explained.
"Rules are rules," she insisted.
Just then, a young woman dragged in her husband, who was in pain, clutching a small paper bag.
"Excuse me," she addressed the nurse. "This is an emergency!"
"Oh," the nurse responded.
"We need a doctor now!" the husband urged.
"I'll be with you shortly," the nurse replied.
"No time to wait!" the man insisted.
"We need to see a doctor immediately," the wife pleaded.
"Everybody does," the businessman interjected. As if to himself, he lamented, "I used to have such a great memory! I could at least remember my name and address."
"You don't understand," the wife pressed. "There's no time!"
"What’s the problem?" the nurse asked.
"We argued," the man mumbled, nearly fainting.
"I love him," the wife insisted. "I'm sorry, but..."
"What?" asked the nurse.
The man pointed to the bag. "She cut off my navel."
"Your navel?" the nurse asked, eyeing the wife. "Why?"
"He said, 'I wish you were never born,'" the husband explained. "Then she cut it off."
"Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry," the wife consoled him.
"I need someone to reattach it before it's too late," the man groaned.
The nurse handed the wife a form. "Fill this out and have a seat."
"We don't have time!" she screeched.
"My navel is dying with every moment!" the man wailed.
"And how would you like being married to a man without a navel?" the wife added.
"A doctor will see you soon," the nurse replied.
"Come on, I'll fill it out," the wife said, guiding her husband to a seat and beginning to fill out the form.
The businessman watched them, muttering to himself. "I must remember something, anything. Plato said something. That's it! 'You become what you do.' Maybe I'm a scholar. No, can't be. Too many meetings. Maybe I'm a philosopher turned businessman. I don’t know!" He turned to the nurse. "I need a doctor now!"
"Is your form filled out?"
He handed it to her. "Here."
"It's blank," she pointed out.
"That's the point! I'm blank, I lost my memory."
"Don't you have a wallet?" she asked.
"Why?"
"You might have ID in it," she suggested.
"Why didn’t I think of that?" he wondered, pulling out his wallet.
An intern entered just then. "Who's next?" he asked.
The businessman held up his wallet to speak, but the wife rushed forward. "We are, doctor!"
"She cut off my navel," the husband informed the doctor, trying for priority.
"That's serious," said the doctor. But asked the nurse, "Who's next?"
She pointed to the businessman. "He hasn't filled out his form."
"That's okay," the doctor said to the businessman. "Finish it while we talk."
"No, no, doctor. I can wait. I only lost my memory. But he..."
"Loses his navel," the husband interjected.
"All right," the doctor agreed, turning to the couple. "Come with me."
"Thank you," the wife said to the businessman.
"Now, tell me," the doctor asked the husband, "how did you lose your navel?"
"She cut it off," the husband groaned.
"A family spat?" the doctor inquired.
"You could say that," the man replied.
"I said I'm sorry," the wife repeated.
Once they disappeared, the businessman began filling out his form with his wallet cards. "Name, address. It must be me, it’s my wallet. But what about my appointments? And my wife’s name, if I have one? I can't go home without knowing!"
Another intern walked in. "Next," the nurse announced, pointing at the businessman.
"Thank you," he said.
"What seems to be the problem?" the intern asked.
"I lost my memory."
"Sorry to hear. Was it a traumatic event, a knock on the head?"
"No, nothing like that." He pulled out his PDA. "I kept everything here. Over time, I became dependent on it. My memory faded. Then today happened."
"What?" the doctor asked.
"The worst possible thing. The battery died."
"Oh my," the doctor admitted. "That’s serious. I better take notes."
He pulled out his own PDA, motioning for the businessman to follow.
As they walked through the doors, the doctor asked, "Now, when did you first notice the problem?"
You can find the original non-AI version of this article here: Man Loses Memory Shows Up At Emergency Room.
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