Chicken Rearing 101 How Not to Raise Chickens
Below is a MRR and PLR article in category Arts Entertainment -> subcategory Humor.
Chicken Rearing 101: How Not to Raise Chickens
Summary:
Beware! Being a poultry parent isn't all it's cracked up to be. Thinking of starting a backyard egg farm? Chicken Rearing 101 humorously uncovers the harsh realities of life as a small-scale chicken wrangler.
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Raising chickens for the first time can be a bit daunting. When I first called the feed store, trying to sound knowledgeable, I asked, "Do you sell pullets?" The man replied, "Yes." I then inquired, "Are they all females?" Ever since, it’s been an uphill battle.
Raising pullets is as much an adventure as raising children, only with more mess per pound of body weight. Despite reading a lot on poultry, I know I'm still figuring things out. Here’s what I’ve learned about chicken rearing:
Start by visiting your local feed store to purchase $10 worth of chicks and $50 in food and supplies. Remember to get water dispensers?"metal preferred, although I’ve yet to see one.
Place the chicks in a sheltered spot, like a bedroom closet, with straw or wood shavings. Hang a heat lamp above them (update your home insurance while you’re at it). For weeks, feed them 3 lbs of food daily, and clean out 4 lbs of droppings. Somehow, despite logic, the chicks will grow.
As adult feathers emerge, clip one wing per bird (not just one wing for all). If you delay, they'll nest in your toilet?"a definite no-go. Clipping involves securing a wiggling bird, stretching its wing, and trimming 50% of its outer feathers.
Gradually lower the heat lamp’s temperature by one degree per day (though impossible in practice) until your bedroom is cooler than a spring blizzard. When you’re frozen and the birds have grown adult feathers, move them to the coop. The initial closet stage feels like it takes five years.
Before moving them, experience the joy of wing clipping again. It rarely works the first time. By now, you might be tempted to pack a lunch and give each bird a Greyhound ticket.
For the coop, hen houses range in design from Chicken Chateaus to Bird Bordellos. The craftsmanship makes my home look, well, like a chicken coop. I attempted a shabby chic style, using stolen milk crates for nesting boxes. Tight chicken wire construction is an elusive skill for me. My first coop looks like Dr. Seuss went wild with wire, but I’ve grown fond of it.
Through trial and error, I learned nesting boxes should be elevated. After clipping feathers to prevent flight, placing their homes high seems cruel. Above the nests, build a roost to keep droppings off your breakfast eggs. Avoid perforated plastic milk crates.
For young birds, maintain a heat light in the coop. On cool nights, they might bypass instinct and leap into the heat like a tanning bed.
The feeding regimen is complex. Offer a mix of starter formula, growth formula, grit or no grit, scraps or no scraps, and avoid Internet advice. I've yet to achieve coop mastery, but I’m working on it.
Here are two myths I can clarify:
1. You don’t need a rooster for breakfast eggs?"roosters are only needed for fertile eggs, which are not necessary unless you enjoy the chick-raising process enough to repeat it.
2. Roosters aren’t required for laying hens to produce eggs. Without a rooster, you’ll avoid the risk of cracking open a fertilized egg in your skillet.
To wrap up, let me share a bird-related myth: Penguins live from the equator southwards, down to Antarctica?"not in the Arctic with polar bears. If you thought you saw them in Alaska, those were puffins. And yes, some penguins reside in the Galapagos Islands at the equator, where cold weather would harm them.
So, if you’re planning to raise chickens, prepare for a journey full of quirks and challenges. Happy chicken farming!
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